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Post by kmg on Feb 26, 2015 4:09:56 GMT -6
Need a good chuckle? You came to the right spot. Come here to get a laugh, then leave one for the rest of us.
I'll start...
The last time I reached for the stars I pulled a muscle.
Ok, what do you have?
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Post by ceceparsley on Feb 26, 2015 7:08:58 GMT -6
what's the best time to go to the dentist?
tooth-hurty/two-thirty
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Post by unforgettable on Feb 26, 2015 13:33:19 GMT -6
What is an alien's favorite candy bar?
A Mars bar!
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Post by kmg on Feb 26, 2015 17:05:11 GMT -6
Hey Jeri, this one is for you...
When the zombies come, I'm tripping you.
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Post by jmmetoo on Feb 26, 2015 17:10:14 GMT -6
Hey Jeri, this one is for you...
When the zombies come, I'm tripping you.
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Post by scraprageous on Feb 26, 2015 17:32:53 GMT -6
Sorry, I guess I don't know enough about zombies - what does tripping them do? _____________________ All I can think of - What time was it when the elephant sat on the clock? Time to get a new clock!!!
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Post by unforgettable on Feb 26, 2015 20:29:02 GMT -6
Lucinda, I'm with you on the zombies. Cute jokes everyone.
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Post by kmg on Feb 27, 2015 5:36:41 GMT -6
Ok people, work with me here-
No I am not into zombies. I saw the statement on a rubber stamp and thought it was funny. Jeri watches a show called the walking dead (I think that is the name) that is the only reason I said it was for her. So the original line is- When the zombies come, I'm tripping you. I am not tripping the zombies. If the zombies are chasing after you, you would be tripping someone so that they would be slower than you, hence you would be the one to get away. Whew, that was way too much trouble for a chuckle
Now, back to our regularly scheduled program...
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Post by kmg on Feb 27, 2015 5:37:18 GMT -6
You know what would make housework more fun? A maid.
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Post by scraprageous on Feb 27, 2015 7:09:32 GMT -6
at the zombies explanation LOL Kind of thought that after I walked away - never heard of tripping zombies to kill them. Similar to the joke around here with the bear - you only need to be faster than whoever you are camping with (though most bears run away if you yell at them) ___________________________ What do you call a rabbit taking a sunbath? Bun in the Sun
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Post by ceceparsley on Feb 27, 2015 13:05:07 GMT -6
What do you call a big cat with a scalp problem?
A dander-lion.
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Post by kmg on Feb 28, 2015 16:58:21 GMT -6
Knock knock...
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Post by jmmetoo on Feb 28, 2015 17:24:03 GMT -6
Who's there?
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Post by kmg on Feb 28, 2015 17:38:33 GMT -6
Ya
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Post by scraprageous on Mar 1, 2015 9:35:07 GMT -6
Yahooooooooo
Why the chicken cross the road?
Because Col. Sanders was chasing him.
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Post by kmg on Mar 2, 2015 4:59:32 GMT -6
Yesterday I cleaned the house, which is dumb because we still live here.
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Post by scraprageous on Mar 2, 2015 8:06:42 GMT -6
What did the stamp say to the envelope (about 20 years ago)? I've got you licked!
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Post by kmg on Mar 2, 2015 18:46:35 GMT -6
Come on inner peace, I don't have all day!
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Post by scraprageous on Mar 3, 2015 13:37:23 GMT -6
Everything is edible, some things are only edible once.
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Post by ceceparsley on Mar 3, 2015 14:49:14 GMT -6
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
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Post by kmg on Mar 4, 2015 7:59:19 GMT -6
Exhaustipated : Too tired to give a crap.
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Post by scraprageous on Mar 4, 2015 8:17:30 GMT -6
maybe not the most friendly, but some days Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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Post by unforgettable on Mar 4, 2015 21:27:27 GMT -6
Lucinda--That is just about the best line I've ever heard!!! I don't have any slinkies in my life, but boy, I'm going to keep an eye out for them!
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Post by kmg on Mar 5, 2015 9:00:50 GMT -6
Telling an angry woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat
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Post by unforgettable on Mar 5, 2015 10:10:21 GMT -6
Another good one!!
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Post by scraprageous on Mar 5, 2015 15:54:10 GMT -6
Cat one reminded me of the note from the dog:
How to wash and dry a cat
Step one - catch a smelly cat (smelly is optional) Step two - open toilet lid Step three - toss in cat and slam lid closed - Dog usually offers to sit on lid if necessary Step four - flush repeatedly - those noises and thumps mean it is working Step five - open lid and look out. Cat will be mad enough to dry itself!
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Post by kmg on Mar 6, 2015 8:15:04 GMT -6
Shoepidity: The act of wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good.
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Post by scraprageous on Mar 6, 2015 11:09:52 GMT -6
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
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Post by kmg on Mar 6, 2015 18:43:29 GMT -6
I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account, so I just go around announcing out loud what I am doing at random times. I've got three followers so far but I think two are cops.
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Post by scraprageous on Mar 7, 2015 13:32:04 GMT -6
Love it! ________________________________ I'm a scrap-a-holic on the road to recovery! Just kidding I'm actually on the road to the scrapbook store
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